The Weiler Psi

Parapsychology Journalism: The People, The Theory, The Science, The Skeptics

Surviving in an Insensitive World

My heart goes out to other sensitive people. I remember all to vividly what life was like when I was a younger man. I remember that dating was next to impossible because I was so afraid of rejection. I remember hating the locker room in high school football because it seemed to be necessary for everyone to be a jerk. (Absolutely horrible coaching didn’t help. We finished the season with one win and many blow out losses.)

I remember not fitting in and getting into fights and generally doing poorly. At one point the stress was so high I heard voices in my head. Growing up just really badly sucked for me and it pains me on those few occasions when I see other young and obviously sensitive people suffer.

I have also seen sensitive people well into their forties and fifties who have not come to grips with that sensitivity and what it does to them. They create their own little world, shying away from those things in their lives that are uncomfortable to them. Their health is affected more often than not.

But this post is about surviving, not failing. More importantly how do we thrive? The answer comes from the one source that gives us the most difficultly. Our sensitivity.

Above all, we have to first realize that we are way more sensitive than average. That’s an important first step because it makes some choices much easier and others much harder.

We can learn to be tougher people, but only by framing it in a compassionate way. I have always known that I was never going to be a hard nosed SOB. I don’t have it in me. I was never going to have a 100 employees and run a large business because I don’t posses the selfishness that success seems to require. But I can make the necessary choices to take care of myself because if I don’t do that, I can’t help anyone.

I’ve learned that pushing back is required in life. In my job I have to say no occasionally and I have resigned myself to the fact that it is easier when I’ve never met someone and gets harder the more I know them. I can’t help but empathize and see things from their perspective, but pushing back is still required.

I make sure that I stay away from people who require constant confrontation because it eats away at me. I’ve chosen a niche to work in that rewards me for choosing people who are easy to work with and punishes me for choosing people who are not. It’s worked quite well.

I’ve also learned that I have to be the best, most honest person I’m capable of because I feel so awful if I’m doing anything less.

And that’s how I survive and I imagine that it’s similar for other sensitive people. There are some times though, that I think it would have been nice to have my senses a bit dulled like the rest of the world.

4 comments on “Surviving in an Insensitive World

  1. Gerard Scott
    June 11, 2014

    I managed to get by relatively well as a kid with one exception. I could not find a way to escape all the pain of others. There is no fix for affective empathy.

  2. anon
    September 8, 2013
  3. anon
    September 8, 2013

    Another wonderfully-written article. Thank you, Craig. I wanted to leave this quote somewhere on your blog. Wasn’t sure where. I guess I’ll leave it here.


    “Chapel Perilous is a stage in the magickal quest in which your maps turn out to be totally inadequate for the territory and you’re completely lost. And at that point you get an ally who helps you find your way back to something you can understand. And then after that for the rest of your life you’ve got this question: Was that ally a supernatural helper, or was it just part of my own mind trying to save me from going totally bonkers with this stuff? And the people I know who’ve had that kind of experience, very few of them have come to an absolutely certain conclusion about this.”

    – Robert Anton Wilson

  4. Danielle
    January 17, 2013

    Love your posts. I agree, I often get that feeling that I wish my senses were dulled like others.. But in the end I am happy to be who I am and fight for the power to be a force of good so that this perspective can become more well known. Your courage inspires me — I am one of those young people you talk about. It gives me courage that someday I might be a source of strength and advice for young people as you are. Thank you for being you and for creating this website.

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