Parapsychology Journalism: The People, The Theory, The Science, The Skeptics
It is hard to give up acting normal, but I have seen that this is more or less my path success and long term happiness. I have to start owning up to the fact that I am “out there.” It’s not easy; I have a lot of fear surrounding being thought to be weird or different. But that’s really who I am and it’s become increasingly obvious to me lately that I can no longer just skate around the edges as I have been doing.
For instance, we had an elderly cat a few months ago that was going downhill in a hurry. We finally took her to the vet and had her X-rayed. When I was shown what was wrong with her I knew it was time to put her down. I called my wife and she left where she was working and met me at the vet. The cat was heavily drugged already and it went quickly. She died peacefully. My wife went back to work and I took her home. I had already dug her grave and she only needed to be put in it.
But something held me back. I took the cat and walked around the yard with her, cradling her and then sat down on the front door step. Something did not feel right. I cried some more and stroked her. At one point I looked down at her and realized that she was still there. Without really thinking about it I focused on her and told her she was dead and she had to go. I felt and kind of saw her lift out of her body and float away. After that, I could feel that the body in my hands was actually dead and I could now bury her. She had been so drugged that she hadn’t known that her life was over.
I know all of this defines me as weird, and there is more:
There are always beings around me, the sort with the unusual brightness that don’t have that human signature “feel” to them. I tend to think of them as Angels and I guess that will have to do as a name because nothing else comes close. People have a brightness around them that is directly related to their capacity for love, compassion and tolerance. These beings have so much of that brightness that they don’t feel human nor do I feel the usual personality that people have. It’s as if it is all washed out by the sheer intensity of the energy.
Their connection to me is definitely about healing, both mine and those whose lives I touch. They don’t talk to me. the information is mostly pictures, but mostly, they provide energy for healing in whatever form it happens to be needed. Because of this, I suck at psychic readings. The need to be involved in healing is fundamental to my personality to the degree that I feel like I’m sleepwalking through life when I am not involved in healing in some way. This whole blog in fact, is directed toward healing. Talking about, and sharing the feelings of pain that are unique to psychic people is important to me. It makes me a bit of an outlier even among psychic people.
I definitely have a gift for helping people cross over. A friend of mine had his wife die suddenly and while we were driving to the memorial service, his wife, who I had never met connected with me. She was a chatterbox and after a few moments I realized that she was nervous about her memorial. When I got there I saw why. She had been loved and the place was so packed with people remembering her that it was standing room only. I stayed connected to her, urging her on and she stayed for the entire service; then she was simply gone. It is a good feeling when that happens; I get the feeling that this is the way it is supposed to be.
I haven’t seen a lot of people on their way to dying, but those I have witnessed have a slow process of leaving their bodies with most of their presence hovering above their heads.
I have a feeling that I would be extremely good at getting rid of ghosts, although I have never tried that. I have always had the sense that they have no power over me and that I can affect them if it’s necessary. I was at a seance once as a young man and some creepy guy tried to use me as his medium; I gave him a couple of minutes and then simply brushed him off. The very strong healing energy that I have makes me a lousy medium because it seems to repel anyone who isn’t the object of healing and drowns most stuff out. Dead people don’t bother me.
This allows me to pretend I’m normal because I choose when to deal with this stuff. I make a habit of facing my fears with the help of my wife in the morning before we start our days as a pro-active way of dealing with the psychic stuff. Then I can go through my day acting like a normal person. Even that is changing though.
When I’m out in nature now, I feel the trees and on one of the hikes I take frequently, the trees in a certain area recognize me and know when I’m on the trail. I can feel them. It is finally time to embrace all of this and stop acting like it doesn’t exist.
This was a rambling post, I know. It’s because this is a very challenging area for me to deal with and when I access that part of me, I have to leave the logical part of me on the backburner and this tends to create a stream of consciousness in my writing. I have shared this for personal reasons and I also hope that it provides comfort to others. I tend to write very clinically most of the time and if you follow my blog at all, you need to know that in a way, I’m hiding behind it. It scares me to admit to the world that I am this way because I know how I’ll be perceived by some. (As a whackjob.) Still, it had to be done.