The Weiler Psi

Parapsychology Journalism: The People, The Theory, The Science, The Skeptics

When Do You Help? What are the Ethics of Psychic Ability

I have run into this question many times over the years and it has caused a lot of stress for psychic people. Perhaps they’ve just gotten information about someone and that information could help that person, but it requires the psychic person to take action based on no more than a feeling and take the chance of looking like a paranoid idiot for meddling in the affairs of others.

Do you do it?

I have run into this problem with healing work. It is a gift and it can help people, but it requires time and effort on my part and I have to decide what to do. I see people who are sick occasionally and I feel for them. Do I volunteer my time so that they can get better?

It is quite a dilemma. Many psychic people feel that this gift was given to them for a reason and that they are required to use it to do good. Other people find that the possibility of blow back from someone who didn’t want the information and might ridicule them is too much of a personal risk. This is particularly hard if they have been hiding their psychic ability. I understand both points of view. They have their merits.

I decided a long time ago to limit my psychic healing to those who either asked, or were already close to me in some way. I don’t go out of my way publicize that I’m a healer. I don’t like the weird looks and skeptical crap that sometimes comes with talking about it. So I’ve made the decision to only do it if I feel like it.

The problem we can have if we go out of our way is that we might not be appreciated for our efforts. If I do healing work on someone with cancer for instance, and they get better, I’ll be last in line for getting any credit. All the other stuff people are doing to get better will get credit before me. It’s not personal, it’s just that it is very hard for others to imagine and then evaluate what good I’m doing. There is no data or established system for what I do and I can’t promise anything or point to anything specific as being the thing that did the trick, so I have little enthusiasm to pursue this except with family and friends who can appreciate what I do.

People who get psychic images have similar issues. The one single thing we have to come away with is feeling good about what we’re doing. It doesn’t take much rejection before we get discouraged. This matters even in a situation involving ethics. We cannot take care of others if we are not taken care of ourselves no matter how important it is for someone else. If we’re not getting something out of the arrangement, then ethical arguments are going to be purely theoretical.

We do have a part of ourselves that will not allow us to go long without looking out for ourselves. Unconsciously if necessary, we begin to dig in our heels and resist if we’re not getting something out of what we’re doing. I think that actually goes for a lot of people, psychic or not. We have to choose a method that works for us and for this reason, I cannot tell anyone exactly what the ethics are. What I can tell you, are the questions you should ask:

1. What do I get out of this? While this might seem selfish, it’s necessary. It does not have to be money. I do this blog because people read it and because people share their lives with me. It’s that last part, the connection that I get when I find that others are going through the same stuff and that my writing about it is helping them, that really does it for me. It’s my payback.

Note that this is a win-win situation. Just because I get something out of the arrangement doesn’t mean that someone else is losing.

2. Is this something that I want to do? “Should” is not the same as “want.” Know the difference. Fear of not doing something is not sufficient motivation. The problem with being motivated by fear this time, is that you’ll also be motivated by fear next time. It just never ends. Where it really becomes a problem is when you have to give someone some information. You have to feel sure of yourself and convey confidence if you want the message to be believed. You can’t do that if you’re hesitant about what you’re doing.

3. What is motivating me to take action? Sometimes, we just get the urge to help and it is the right thing to do, no second guessing. In those cases, Source, Essence, God or whatever you want to call it is sending a strong message to act. Of course in those situations, it’s always appropriate. That’s why we’re getting those signals. But if we hesitate and we’re not sure of what to do, then it gets more complicated. At that point, we have to stop and examine our motivation.

In the end, you have to decide for yourself. If you’re getting something out of it, if it’s something that you want to do and it fulfills you, then it’s probably OK to help. If helping others is leaving you feeling drained, then perhaps you should explore what’s going on in more detail.

23 comments on “When Do You Help? What are the Ethics of Psychic Ability

  1. Mary
    January 13, 2018


    Thank you for sharing your views and feelings regarding your gifts, only peers can relate to each other, it is very welcoming to know that someone else understands what I am experiencing and whom can actually relate with me that there are the good,the bad and the ugly people out their. It is nice to be able to related to a person like yourself, and others on this blog that won’t shut me off when I try to share my abilities with them.

    I have no memories of having abilities as a child or teen, however I always seemed to have the ability to know things about people that I didn’t know. My daughter has told me that I have been doing reading on people for decades, without me really knowing I was doing it. I would call my daughter at times she needed me the most, without her actually reaching out to me. My first experience was in my twenties, in my thirties I was always fascinated with Physics, or Mediums, especially in television shows, and also in spirits with Ghost hunters, I know it sounds silly. Not that I believed everything I watched, but I was always drawn to this. It was about this time that I got a CD from a Physic/Medium and in the middle of a busy kitchen with my children I did an exercise too meet my spirit guide. It happened very quickly to my surprise. My spirit guide turned out to be a very tall black shadow, that scared me so bad that I stopped the exercise immediately. This is when I shut it down. It wasn’t until about 4 or more years ago that I started too notice odd occurrences happening again, as usual I kept running away from them.

    I was in my late fifties, when I had as I called it “she jumped me experience” I was visiting my Aunt. Myself and my Aunt were engaged in a conversation during this time. We were talking about the deceased person’s cat lying on the bed. It was then myself and the cat locked eyes that started my very physical experience. I was trying not to draw attention to myself even though I was shivering all over, and crying hysterically without tears. It was when I asked the spirit whom it was that I told the spirit to stop, calling her by name. Remember my Aunt is watching all of this, and she is a very gossipy Aunt at that. Thank god my Aunt believed in spirits, at the time I didn’t know that she did as I didn’t want the entire family to learn about my abilities, and call me a freak. I later learned that I was just opened. I now know that I was just the vessel being used to be recognized by the spirit. At the time this was going on my cousin was in another room in the same house, telling his deceased love of his life that she should be there with him. It was after this experience that I knew I could no longer ignore or turn off my abilities. I was still clueless and scared though.

    It is very hard to share experiences with family and friends, one does not know, if these people in their lives believe in them or not. I too did not believe in my own abilities and others, for a very long time, unless they could of course prove otherwise. I have basically been shunned by my family and friends, whenever I tried to share with them my experiences, some I would never share with, and those that I thought would be interest just treated me like I was nuts. I did not let that stop me, let’s say I have been a bit pushy, even my significant other was not supportive. Then one day, I shared a message I got from the spirit world, see I am a rookie and still learning, so I am very excited about this, but no one else was excited for me except for my daughter. When telling this to my brother, he kept saying things to explain it away. So, one day the message I got for another relative, came true, it was very happy news, and very sad all in the same moment. My cousins wife lost the baby she was carrying, this is something I would prefer to be wrong about I was even in denial when she lost her baby. My spouse, my brother and his girlfriends mouths all dropped when I shared the information with them, my spouse seen it on face book. Again, this is not the type of message I wanted to be true, not the death of an infant, yes I know that I was not responsible for what had happened. I have learned through all of this that they have now become afraid. All of them tell me, don’t tell me if I am going to die, well hello, I would never do that. Actually I don’t like it when the spirit world tells me in the first place, I don’t like it either. Even when I try to discuss some positive sides of my abilities, just for some support they all either change the subject or walk away. Now I am not so offended because I know it is fear that is causing their behavior.

    Three months ago, I had an experienced, I seen shadows all around my father in laws bed, hours before his death, I was awake when I seen this, I had my eyes closed laying in bed a few minutes after waking up. It was like watching a video. I felt such compassion and comfort from these shadowy figures, they gave me the impression that they were on top of this and ready to take him to heaven. I was reluctant to share this with my spouse, yet I did I was driven by something else to tell him, when we arrived for a visit that same day, his father had just passed away. I still don’t get any support, but I have opened my eyes to what this actual meant, it is fear of the unknown that triggers the shunning. So I am not so offended anymore, I still don’t sit quietly, and I speak my mind about my experiences, I don’t appreciated being treated like some freak of nature. I feel truly blessed to be so gifted now. I believe I am truly gifted, and hope one day someone will need my help, I would like more positive message though.

    Currently I am age 63, yes it took me that long to accept my abilities. I have decided to educate myself, and to develop my gift. I have read several books, I go to Mediumship classes, I have learned a lot and I have improved tremendously, I am still a rookie, but everyday is a new experience for me. Just a few weeks ago, I started to see symbols in my minds eye, my third eye, these symbols were messages, and I took the risk with a family member that was a believer in the spirit world. Turns out the image I had seen, which was a Christian Fish, was a gift given to her son for Christmas, you see his wife passed away 10 days before Christmas.

    Thank again, for listening
    God Bless

  2. Vanessa moore
    January 10, 2017

    Why do spirits of friends and family visit me wen they are about to pass or have passed .

  3. Amber
    August 26, 2016

    Thank you for this post! I’m 38, and have been having some psychic experiences over the past few years. They seem to be increasing lately, although I’m still not sure if they are truly psychic abilities or just glimpses of incite from above. About a month ago, I read a news report that had been posted on my Facebook page. It was about a young woman who had been attacked in a woman’s bathroom (in the middle of the night at a local campsite). Luckily, she was able to fight the attacker off and get away. The news report gave a description of the man as well as a description of his vehicle. I didn’t give the report much thought after this and put it out of my mind. A day or two later I was out and about running errands with my husband, when out of nowhere, a voice in my head told me to pay attention to a man who was crossing a parking lot to get to a store. A thought came into my mind to note his height, build, hair color and approximate age. And then I quickly was given the thought to look around for the described vehicle from the news report. As my eyes scanned the parking lot, I noticed a vehicle that matched the description from the report about 35 feet from the man. I was having a very surreal feeling of “knowing” that this was the man from the news report and that I was given this information for a reason. However, when it came to contacting the authorities, I was very sacred/nervous. I was scared that I might be wrong or that I wouldn’t be believed or that I might get in trouble for “tieing-up” Police resources. It was like a war was going on inside of me. I had such a strong feeling of needing to act upon my insight, but also such a strong fear. I got physically sick (almost to the point of vomiting I was also shaking uncontrollably). I remember asking ( in my head) what if I don’t report him, after all, the woman was able to get away. And a voice answered immediately. The voice told me, that it was not his first attempt at trying to harm someone and that if not caught, it would not be his last. And that he would become more determined and more violent with each new attempt. This is what finally gave me the courage to contact the detective on the case.

  4. Violet Tilley Giar
    September 23, 2014

    This is helpful for me to hear the way you view people valuing what you have the ability to as a psychic but I still have not found a way for it to fit better in my life without falling under attack and far to often I am penalized for my gifts. I have literally recited entire news papers 8 months in advance amongst court officials and the attacks were agonizing.
    As for the girl with the spirits lifting her out of bed, I would have to think this type of scenario concerning her spirit is becoming to close to the dangerous side
    and needs to move on for their own sake and her’s as well. If she is a great clairvoyant with God fearing strength maybe she can accomplish it on her own but if not I would seek some help like priest or rabi. A successful house cleansing may still take 72 hours to be certain but if the their is trouble in the house it is evident why this visitor is about! I have never had good luck with men accepting my clairvoyance or psychic abilities as anything but a degrading attack so beware before you share what you are burdened with as a choice concerning your mate, family, and friends. That kind of tensions will definately attract more forceful spirits. I take these problems straight to my Father upstairs imediatly.

    November 6, 2013

    What a wonderful and a straight forward spell caster that has brought back joy and happiness into my life after i saw a post on how he helped a lady called sylvia,i decided to contact him for help when i told this God sent man Dr shiba of olotospellhome on how my lover left me for 2 years without calling nor texting me,When i shared this my sad experience with Dr shiba he said everything would be okay within 3 days i was like am i sure what this man is saying is real,So i decided to give a try, what even surprised me the most at first i was also thinking he was a scam i taught he was like other spell caster who come online to add pain to peoples pain not knowing there feelings but to make money,But this great man Dr shiba is never like that his own is for good and make people to be happy with the one they love,Am just so happy,Even before the 3 days i just got a call from a man who has left me for 2 years saying he his sorry and that he wants me back to his life i was so happy,He invited me for a dinner which i meant him there and we bought talked and he said he wants to prove that he would never leave me for any other lady he engaged me and also make me had access to all his account am so happy all thanks goes to this great man Dr shiba a man who has brought back joy to my life,Please friends that needs help i would advice and swear that Dr shiba is the right man and not those fake ones who are online to make money and not to help here is Dr shiba private mail dr shiba is the only one who can fix you your problem.

    • sylvia
      January 30, 2014

      Im truly impaired to enternete connect through with enlightened spirits such as yourself I found it not a coincidence that I found this page this site searching for answers and find coincidentally my name”Sylvia”quoted about another female with my same exact name! Its definatly at test mate of fate to tap into some high consciousness and power very enlightening.

  6. anon
    September 8, 2013

    Good stuff.

  7. Anonymous
    October 1, 2012

    No.. I like the interaction, but the out of body situation scares me. I see them and speak to them sometimes even in a jovial manner. I don’t mind when they touch me. I guess I am looking for guidance in general.This type of experience is new to me. I do have a guide I have been told, but I have not felt him lately. It worries me he is gone. I called on him the last time when things got out of control. I guess I need to speak with him and maybe he would come around more often and help me through those situations. I feel very blessed I can talk to people and receive messages. I just wish it was not so sporadic. I think I may need to meditate more to have some symmetry. I am not experienced enough to work through those situations with calm and peace when they are happening. I get a little worked up. I equate it to my sport. There is a lot of adrenaline involved and you have to learn to keep yur witts about you while it’s happening.

    Thank you for your help I will take it to heart. I would like to be more focused, move through these events, and get more out of them rather than race through them and barely experience what it has to offer.

    • Satellite41
      January 17, 2014

      Me, too.

  8. Anonymous
    October 1, 2012

    Craig…..Thanks for the tips. I like the anonymous letter. That is a good idea.

    As for the spirit I guess if I did not have resistance I would not feel so violated. Have you or someone you know had any experience with spirits being aggressive by trying to make physical contact? What about the out of body experience. I had this happen once/ twice before. One time the spirit seemed a little darker. The presence was not kind like this one was the other evening. I am wondering why they do this(lift me above my bed) other than to get my attention. The darker presence I did not want to acknowledge. I just wanted it to leave me alone. I did not want to acknowledge it because it was dark. Then it proceeded to lift me above my bed half way to my 12′ ceiling. I was terrified. I remember thrashing to try to hang on to something to pull myself down, but it was futile. When it allowed me down I woke my husband immediately. It left when I woke my husband as if his energy and his protective nature over me was enough to scare it away. I can’t wake him every time this happens……whew… he gets grumpy….LOL!

    How can I keep them from manipulating me without my consent? Any insights?

    • craigweiler
      October 1, 2012

      To answer your first two questions: No, I have no trouble with spirits. I have been told that I have incredibly powerful guides that keep them away. I am also quite strong in that regard myself. I don’t know why, it’s just something I can do.

      The problem you’re describing however, is familiar to me because I actually have heard from quite a few people with much the same issues. I’ve given advice in the past, but I get no feedback, so I don’t know how well it works.

      Basically, you have to be clear on whether you’re OK with these spirits around. Does part of you secretly crave this as a break from your normal routine? If you’re really clear that you don’t want them around, then you can use your intent to make them go away. But once you’ve succeeded, they won’t come back. You can’t pick and choose these experiences.

      It doesn’t sound like they are manipulating you, it sounds like they’re trying to get your attention. So either pay attention or intend them away for good. You get to choose this one.

      • Chrissy
        August 20, 2015

        Craig, can I ask you if any of your friends left you because of your gift?

        • craigweiler
          August 20, 2015

          Hi Chrissy,
          No, I have never had that problem although I did spook a friend of my wife’s who stopped hanging around after she saw me get someone’s attention just by staring at their back.

          I live in the San Francisco Bay Area, which is both the most tolerant area in the whole world and the epicenter of the New Age Movement. That’s probably not a coincidence. Anyone who is prejudice against psychic people will be offending people right and left. So I have it pretty good.

          • chrissy
            August 20, 2015

            Lucky YOU! May I put to you what is happening for me! After my book came out a lot of people here who bought it ask me if I get anything for them. I reply it doesn’t work that way for me. But on the occasions when I have had messages for people and they tell me they want to hear, they are not ready for what they get and then I take it upon myself and blame myself, as my book says I am just the messenger.
            I suppose this is part of my journey not to take on other people’s feelings ,but being an EMPATH ALL MY LIFE IS SO difficult to turn off.

            I get people now running away from me when they see me ,adults of course , they are scared this I understand, but would not give any messages what I felt would not benefit them. I read one time on one of your blogs, you saying for us to accept this is who we are, but having 40 plus years of repression, I still struggle with this.

            Any suggestions please would be appreciated! How does one get tough, when my personality has always been empathetic towards others?

            • craigweiler
              August 20, 2015

              That’s difficult to answer. I got tougher by putting myself in situations where I had to and eventually I got better at it. I learned over time that my relationships with everyone were better when I stood up for myself.

          • chrissy
            August 20, 2015

            Can you turn your gift on and off? Any chance you answering questions for me what others avoid? It is important for me.

            How do I find out who has been working with me all my life?
            I have been open all my life to the spirit world and don’t open and close chakras, or see Auras.
            Next question please is: Why don’t spirit come when i ask? They only come when they want me to give messages for others!

            I feel you are a very knowledgeable man in this field and hope yourself, or your wife might be a able to help me with this.


            • craigweiler
              August 20, 2015

              Can you turn the gift on and off? No. Can’t be done. You can dull it with drugs of course, or by immersing yourself in logical, left brain type thinking for a long time, but that’s about as good as it gets.

              Why don’t spirits come when asked? There is fairly strong evidence that psychic ability is strongest when it’s based on need. So spirits come through when they’re needed rather than when you want them too.

              However, many mediums report success with keeping to a schedule. Over time, the spirits develop a habit of showing up at that time.

              • Chrissy
                August 20, 2015

                Thanks, that makes so much sense to me! In my case they only came through the night for many years of my life, from as young as 5 years old, up until now ,but getting better ,they give me a better nights sleep and come through the day time.

                Craig they have changed me so much , this little girl who was so scared and vulnerable, over sensitive, kind hearted person to a more understanding adult and now my journey is to stand up more for myself with people. It is hard for me, but getting there.

                When I asked, psychics, or mediums the questions I asked yourself they turn away and give me no reply. I like answers for myself ,due to the repression all those years.
                Someone asked me how do I know when spirit are around me and when they aren’t . I replied, they have been with me all my life, so is easy for me to detect when they are around. I don’t know if you can relate to this ,but growing up I felt my earth family were not connected to me, fact!

                I recognise now Energy Vampires who have taken all my energy all my life ,but at that time did not understand, or recognise this. Now I am more aware of these kind of people. We are all still learning eh!

                Thanks again for your blogs what helped many people understand our psychic ability.

  9. Anonymous
    September 30, 2012

    I am new at this. I wish I had much insight to this subject. I have always had the “gift”. It runs in my family. I don’t know if I am more open to the subject, but I seem to get much more activity than my other family members. I receive visions lately the most recent being a vision that obviously was coming from a relative of the person for which the message was sent. I feel very strongly about giving this message. The relative who is passed would not leave me alone as I lie in my bed. She and yes I know it was a she. I heard her voice upon entering the room before getting into bed. It was late at night and no other electronic devices were on. My children fast asleep and my husband in another room. I did not recognize her voice. She was a stranger. There was no activity after that moment until the precise moment before I fall asleep. She touched me and she proceeded to touch me until I recognized her presence. She went as far as to enter my body and lift me above the bed and drop me. This is the second time this has happened to me. Another soul entering me and making me rise above my bed. I feel very out of control. It is very disturbing. I finally acknowledge her presence and she showed me my neighbor; who is also a friend, in a car accident and the car was on fire. After I received her message she left. Needless to say I did not sleep well last night. Of course the questioned to be asked is why did I not receive her message earlier and she would have left me alone. I did not know how.

    I have shared my “gift” with my family and a FEW close friends, but I have not revealed this to him. I do feel an obligation to share this information with this man. He is the only bread winner in the house an his children rely on him heavily. If something were to happen to him it would be so life altering for his family on many levels.

    On the other hand…earlier I heard myself explain this event to my husband and I sound like a crazy person, yet I know it all to be true. I am a perfectly sane individual and well educated. The older I get the larger my gift grows or what I actually suspect is the more I allow it within myself. I know I need not prove myself here. I know I am within an understood environment.

    I am only reluctant to tell this man about this event or just at a minimum tell him his warning only because his wife has “mental” issues and stays awake for days and starts to hallucinate. She hears voices. He made some derogatory comment the other day about hearing voices. I don’t want to be thrown into this category. It is NOT the same. I am sorry she has a medical problem, but….. on the other hand I do not want anyone to think I am crazy!!!!!

    I was wondering if anyone had any insight to the visitor and have experienced this type of thing.

    Also I was thinking of telling the friend/neighbor I “had a weird dream” and try to put it that way, but the importance of the message may be lost because this messenger was REALLY adamant.

    This is the first time I have reached out publically. I have reached out to my mother who has similar experiences. I am looking for ways to cultivate this gift, control it if possible in order to be more consistent, and ways to control these souls. I would like to be able to refuse them entering my body and manipulate me without my consent.

    • craigweiler
      September 30, 2012

      I have a couple of suggestions to make your life easier. First, don’t resist. Just keep a journal by your side and when the information is given to you, jot it down and go back to sleep. That way, it won’t keep you awake. You’ve recorded the info and nothing more is to be done at the moment.

      Second, if the person to receive the message is hostile to psi, then drop a letter to them anonymously explaining what message you are to pass on. Then you’ve done everything you can and you are free of further responsibility. Your job as messenger is done and the next step belongs to someone else. No need to dwell on it.

      I hope this helps.

  10. Lynn Digby
    February 24, 2012

    I enjoyed reading this blog post. I just wanted to comment to say that it is not an obligation, any more than painting, or writing music, or being a great handyman is if this is where your talents lie.

    I understand the feeling of rejection and dismay you might find if your efforts to help someone were rejected or worse – ignored once they were successful.

    But if you begin by offering your insights to people you know will be okay with it; and get feedback from them that lets you know it helped, eventually your confidence will build to the point where you no longer worry about how it looks or how you might be perceived. You just do it because those worries fade when you know you’re helping. The reward comes in knowing that you made some difference, even if it wasn’t enormous.

    But obligation? No. I think you do what you are led to do, and what makes your life function best.

  11. Elissa Heyman
    July 22, 2010

    Re what to bring up to another person when they’re not asking: in regular therapy, people come in with something they want to work on, and if the therapist also notes that they have other issues, it’s not considered helpful to bring up what YOU think the person should be aware of, but what they want to work on. Because you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink. The client has to be willing….
    In psychic work, I think someone has to be willing to pay for a session, or you’re giving them info/advice they didn’t ask for. It’s invasive. Unless you Get The Message to tell someone, even some passerby, something important, felt as a compelling impulse…at least for me that’s very very rare. Anyone who gets accurate and specific insights for people on a regular basis would probably want to be doing that professionally, it is so helpful and rewarding. Same with healing work, but one of the best healers I ever ran into made his living as a mechanic, a famous mechanic because he could just walk by a car and it was better–he had a magic touch with German cars. I asked him why in the world was he a mechanic when he was such an incredible healer, and it was that he didn’t want the responsibility, the people it would draw.

    • craigweiler
      July 22, 2010

      Those are excellent points. I found out long ago that unless people pay they really aren’t going to value what I have to offer. And if they don’t value it, don’t give it to them. For that reason, I’m doing handyman work rather than healing. People value what I do.

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