Parapsychology Journalism: The People, The Theory, The Science, The Skeptics
“What does not kill me, makes me stronger.”
Friedrich Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols, 1888
It is such an easy thing to say: “I choose my destiny.” It sounds wonderful and enlightening and uplifting . . . because it is.
It is much easier to SAY that I choose my destiny than to actually do it. All around us we are bombarded with reminders that life is happening to us; there are so many ways to be a victim that they are beyond counting. Lately, I’ve been pretty good at creating things to be a victim about. I’ve had several weeks where work was very slow and my truck broke down as well, leaving me no money to fix it. Since I make my living as a handyman, this has been a serious problem. Or has it? Is this really a problem? Or is it an opportunity in disguise? I say that because there have been some interesting things that have come out of this; while I was sitting on my hands without work, I concentrated on getting a book put together, based on this blog. I have had the use of neighbor’s vehicles when I’ve needed them and my body has had a chance to heal from some of the nastier stuff associated with construction; mostly having to do with the knees and not having to breathe in dusty, dirty conditions.
Oh, we’re behind on the mortgage . . . again; life is a series of difficult money choices at the moment. There is good reason to be scared; there is plenty of fodder for victimhood. But this is also an energetic challenge from the universe. In my body and mind I am given a choice; do I hunker down and try to survive the poverty? or do I use this as a springboard for taking a better path? It is up to me. I have to choose.
The most painful and obvious part of this is that I have already been choosing. Oh, I could make excuses about the bad economy; how people don’t have any money; how my advertising agency screwed up; but that’s not it. I haven’t gotten work because I didn’t want it. That’s the truth; it isn’t fun anymore; I work because it pays the bills and there is a part of me deep inside that rebels against this duty. It is this deep part inside of us that is so very hard to talk to and to convince of anything because it is purely emotional and immune to logic of any sort. Yes, I have been pitching a fit deep in my core and that part of me would sooner go broke than do something it didn’t like.
I eventually broke the stalemate with an emotional insight (since a logical one would not have been effective) and that insight was this: I was failing my very best friend in the whole world: my wife. She was at the breaking point and was considering leaving school and dropping out of the masters program she’s worked so hard to get into. I dug deep emotionally and finally cracked the cosmic barrier because I could not bear to hurt my wife this way. I finally got through to this deep,uncompromising part of myself because I had finally found an emotionally irresistible force to counter it with: I absolutely refused to let my wife down.
I know that the cosmic barrier cracked because the work came in the very same day that I had that revelation; we now have enough money that we’re out of the most immediate financial danger; the worst of the worst of the logjam has been broken. but I’m not done. The money that I am bringing in is not enough to heal our money issues,only prolong them. All I did was crack the cosmic barrier, not dismantle it. (More jobs have been coming in.)
The cosmic barrier, if you haven’t guessed it by now, is our belief that life happens to us; it is the illusion that we’re not creating it. It is a powerful and persistent illusion, powered first by fear and then by the “bad” stuff that happens in our lives. If we are to ever crack this barrier, we have to do it in the midst of crisis; there is no other way. We will simply lack the focus and determination without an overriding reason to succeed. There is a reason for those rags to riches stories; people in the worst of circumstances have the means to make drastic changes in their thinking. That’s obviously the cliff that I’ve come to.
This is not to say that we should create such a crisis, merely to use it wisely if one should present itself.
It is a mistake to think that this barrier is merely a thought that can be easily changed; it isn’t. It is an energetic way of being imprinted in our bodies. We cannot change it without also energetically changing our bodies as well and that does not happen quickly or easily.
Personally, I have crossed some sort of threshold and I’m smack in between. I can feel myself energetically withdrawing and allowing fear to be my guide; this is my old pattern, and I can radiate and energetically create better things for myself; this is my new pattern. I need to focus to radiate. It doesn’t happen without conscious effort and it is physically painful to do so. Radiating, (i.e. choosing to affect life rather than having it affect me) exposes me to all my fears and uncertainties -which are contained within my body, as constricted, chronically tight areas-. They don’t loosen just because I think that would be a good idea; loosening the muscles is also loosening my grip on old ideas, beliefs and patterns. I have to continually expand my energy over and over again to train my body into this higher energy level and completely dismantle the cosmic barrier . . . that I put into place. Old patterns of thinking cannot simply be brushed aside, they have to be slowly dissolved and something new has to take their place.
The most important thing to take away from this is that we can either be caught up in pain and struggle and the ensuing pointless drama of being a victim, or we can use the crises and pain we endure to build up our energetic strength. Indeed the cosmic reason for all the pain and suffering of mankind may be this: to force us higher and farther than we would otherwise go.
I am not going end this with tidy advice about how we all should embrace our pain and suffering and misfortune and use it as an opportunity to grow. It’s what I’m doing, and it is my message at the moment, but everyone has a different path and if this resonates for you, great, and if not, then your path lies in another direction. I can only speak for myself: having this revelation has made my life a bit easier. Being a victim is a dead end.